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Six Non-Basic Ways to Get Someone Under the Mistletoe

With the cold weather settling in for the holidays, so will your need to find someone by your side to keep you warm. ‘Cause baby, it’s cold outside. What better way to ignite a holly jolly love story than to get that special someone under the mistletoe?

Not only is it romantic, but it’s festive too (and totally not forced)! I’ve checked off a foolproof Christmas list of 6 ways to get a ring from that special someone; and no, I don’t mean on the phone.

1. Place a beanie on your head and attach a chopstick to it at an angle. Tape your mistletoe to the end of the chopstick and chase your target around whatever holiday function you may be at.

Use the corners of rooms to your advantage until you both end up under the mistletoe.

2. Invite your victim - I mean - target, over to bake holiday cookies.

When they’re not looking, add some mistletoe berries to the batter.

Be careful not to consume any of

the cookies after this step, though.

Consuming the plant’s berries can result in nausea, diarrhea, and the kiss of death. That’s not our objective.

Once the cookies are baked and your target is fooled into thinking this is just a wholesome baking session between friends, hold a cookie over yourselves.

When their confusion is evident, pull a single sprig of the mistletoe out of your pocket.

The holiday romance vibes will be amplified once they realize they could have just been poisoned.

3. If it’s raining, ask them to accompany you outside for whatever reason. To get something from your car, to watch Santa’s reindeer playing dodge ball with lightning bolts; doesn’t really matter.

Prior to doing so, attach the sprig of mistletoe to the runner of an umbrella. When you bring it out to shield yourselves from the rain, the deed is done.

4. Just straight up burn some mistletoe throughout your house.

Or, if you’re playing it safe, purchase a mistletoe-infused candle instead.

Therefore, while it is burning, the smoke will be infused with the romantic herb, and you and your target will technically have the mistletoe around you at all times.

5. Puree some mistletoe in a blender, and sneak it in your future beau’s shampoo. Place it in your own shampoo as well.

Let a few days pass and hope that your target has a regular hair-washing schedule.

Afterwards, theoretically your mistletoe-infused hair should mean that you’re both constantly under the mistletoe, wherever you go. The problem would be that no one else has mistletoe infused hair, except for each other, so you are the only two candidates for the mistletoe.

6. This method requires accurate timing. At a Christmas party, tape some mistletoe to a football or any other ball, and find two unsuspecting party guests and permit them to toss the ball to each other across the crowded room.

Looking crazy is no obstacle on the path towards love. Position yourself and your target below the path of the ball and wait until the ball flies over both of you to steal your smooch.

Timing is essential here. And this way, you have more than just one chance to kiss your target.

*Disclaimer: Don't try any of these at home. Besides the fact that any kisses that occur under the mistletoe must involve clear consent and awareness between both parties, I don't want any of you to accidentally poison yourselves in pursuit of love.

**Happy holidays, Tartans! Enjoy gorging on food like there's no tomorrow and get excessive rest. See you in 2019!

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